I'm sick. The monster is sick. Mr. Wolfman is sick.
I don't know what we've got, exactly, but it's an achy-jointed, sore-throated, fevery, sleepy, sweaty mucous-fest up in here. Those sayings, death warmed over, feel like I got hit by a truck - they apply.
My sister and her family have the same. Who caught it from whom is unknown and unknowable and unimportant. We're all miserable.
Through it all, the monster is in good spirits. Mostly happy to play by himself or look at his books. He did spend about three hours refusing to be put down yesterday. Not easy for me, since he's 25ish pounds, but what can you do?
I ran into an acquaintance yesterday, on my grocery run for ginger ale and Halls (I forgot the Halls, goddamnit). She has a little one a couple of months older than the monster and we looked like we were going to be mummy friends, but I had to take a step back, because despite the fact that I was able to keep my mouth shut about her questionable parenting choices, she was not able to offer me the same courtesy.
So, she's chatty, and we're friendly. She was out with her baby and I told her I don't want to get too close, because the monster and I are both hella sick. Her response, "Oh, she had her vaccines."
WHAT? Like, lady, I don't have rubella. I really doubt your baby has been vaccinated against what I have. WTAF?
So anyway, I move a few feet away to chat with her, because even if she doesn't care, I don't want her tiny little daughter to get sick.
So then we get talking about what I have, and I explain we have had fevers etc, and she recommends a home remedy against coughing and sore throat which sounds like it could work. Honey and black pepper and stuff. And then she tells me that I can give it to the monster, which I just kinda blink at because, no.
But it's fine, she tells me. People say not to give honey to babies, but she's been giving her daughter honey since 5 months and she's ok. OF COURSE SHE FUCKING IS. SHE WOULD BE DEAD IF THE HONEY HAD BEEN CONTAMINATED. Babies don't have the ability to fight off botulism, or whatever kind of botulism bacteria that may be present in honey. It isn't always there. It isn't even usually there. If it is there, they will die. Fucking read a book, woman.
And yes, her kid is now at the one year mark they recommend waiting until - she's the size of a 5 month old, but she's technically old enough. Now.
So yeah. That's my fever rant. I wish I could say that I'm going to bed, but alas.