Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Mr. Sicky Pants

I'm going to make this short, because I need to clean and do a better job of baby proofing. Most of the cleaning is laundry, because my monster puked everything yesterday.  He puked so much that puke became a transitive verb.

We were in the ER until after midnight, the second time we've visited in just over a week.  The poor little monkey turned into that creepy muppet from The Exorcist, and sprayed the couch, me and himself with vile puke water.  He had to get a suppository in the hospital, which he pooped out with vile sulphurous poop within a few minutes.  If he starts throwing up again today, I have to give him another one.

All in all, I think this is harder on me, than him.  We got home last night and he nursed and went to sleep, then I stayed up and cried, freaked out about everything.  But when he's not actively being sick, he's a happy, active baby.

Timeline-wise, I'm convinced that he caught this thing from Mr. Wolfman's bosses and their baby-grabbing grossness.  It was the day after the company dinner that he first refused solids, and he's been getting sicker since then.  I seriously want to injure whoever did this to my baby.

"Dad Dad"

All day long, my little monster asks for his Dad.  He bounces around and says "Dad, dad, dad!"  He bounces on the couch, saying "Dad, dad, dad" until I put a picture of him and Mr. Wolfman on the screen, then he smiles, laughs and bounces even more vigorously.  He lights up when he hears Mr. Wolfman's keys in the lock, like all his dreams are coming true.

I don't mind that I'm not the favourite.  Watching their relationship makes me feel like the luckiest person alive.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Excited over geeky things.

I found a bodysuit for the little monster that says (wait for it): "Little Monster" on it.  Mr. Wolfman thought it was cool before I even told him how I refer to the little monster on this blog.

Of course, the first time he wore it, he puked all over it within minutes.  This time, he had a blowout in it within minutes.  Ah, but such is life.

Sunday, April 12, 2015


The little monster just took his first unassisted step.  Just one, but whoa.

Someone please tell this kid he's only 6 months old; he seems to have missed the memo.

Yesterday was a terrible day.  Monster was fussy all night the night before and despite actually making a schedule and sticking to it, the day came unhinged pretty early.  10 was to be oatmeal AM, but he turned down solids for the 4th straight day, then got sick.  Like, vomitty sick.  After calling a hotline for help, he started puking up bile, then he went all limp and for a second, I really felt like I might lose him.

He perked up enough that I just took him to the ER instead of calling for an ambulance.  Luckily, Dr. Illegible was the ER doc, so he knows us and the monster put up with being examined.

Today, other than the occasional sicking up, you'd never know there was anything wrong with him. He's just a happy, amazing baby. He's going to be a (wonderful) handful when he's feeling 100%.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

This is Why I'm an Introvert

I went to a work dinner with Mr. Wolfman on Sunday.  The new owners of his business, a group of mostly-childless retirement-aged people, decided that Easter Sunday was a good day to get together with business partners and employees.  Since Mr. Wolfman and I aren't religious, and it meant I didn't have to cook, I figured whatever, so I went.
The little monster was asleep when we got there, so I parked his stroller in the corner, out of the way, and stood close by.  Probably ten times, various women either came up and asked if he was awake yet, or went and poked their head in the stroller.
When he did wake up, this woman, who I'd met when I came in maybe 20 mins before (and who I hadn't even spoken to beyond exchanging names) rushed over.  Then she held out her hands to take the monster from me.
I was so shocked, I just stared at her.
With her hands still stretched out, she said, "Oh, he looks so happy." and then, moving to take him from me, "Maybe he can come to me." 
I dodged her and said, "He's just waking up." Which was all I could think to say.
She stood there with her hands out until a colleague of my husband's, N* suggested maybe later.  Grabby Hands gave me one more pleading look, then got all butt hurt and wandered off.  
She was the worst, but everyone just kept coming up and touching his hands and looking longingly at him.  As a result, the people who I would have let hold him didn't get to, because I knew it would turn into a round of pass the baby.
The other weird thing that happened at the dinner was some weirdo trying to give the monster an egg to play with.  Like, an actual egg.  There were these loaves of bread as centre pieces with dyed hard-boiled eggs in them.  A new colleague of Mr. Wolfman's (not N*) who I hadn't met before pulled a bright orange egg, covered in bread bits out of the loaf and held it out to the monster from across the table.
I thought she was showing it to him, which I thought was weird, but whatever, I'm not going to police what someone shows my baby from a distance.  
Then she starts waving it around and going "Here, here" and leaning closer, so I told her, clearly, "He can't have that."
She kept holding it out to him, while N repeated that he couldn't have it, and said it was covered in stuff.  I probably repeated twice more that he couldn't have it, while she kept holding it out to him.
She got really indignant and said, "It's just bread!"
I said he can't have bread, or eggs, so she starts picking all the bits of bread off it, then tries to give it to him again.  My monster wasn't even remotely interested in it, or I would have said or done more.  But it was so weird, that even after I'd said no repeatedly, she just kept trying.  I learned in the course of dinner that she has a kid, so I guess that makes her an expert on what is/isn't safe to give to my 6 month old baby.
Eventually, N just took it from her, and put it on her own plate.
Chick got all sulky and muttered "Fine."
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I hate people.  I seriously need to dig out my mama bear and get her claws shined up. The next person who doesn't listen when I say no is going to have Hell to pay.

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Genius Baby Part 3 - Bilingual Baby

The little monster can say three words: Mum, Mama and Dad.  The interesting thing is this:

I speak only English to the little monster and when we're alone together and he wants something (usually food), he uses Mum!  

Mr. Wolfman speaks to the little monster entirely in his native language.  When the little monster is sitting with him, but wants me, he uses Mama.

My 6 month old baby, who only knows 3 words, is bilingual.